I can’t stop recounting the hilarious profession of an older woman who made change in the offering plate because her bill was too big. She reassured us, though, that she spoke to Jesus before she did it.
A bit unhindered. And free from the fear of judgment and condemnation of others.
While I am not tempted to make change in the offering plate, I AM jealous of her. Of her emotional disconnect between her sense of worth and the approval of others.
Stop regarding man in whose nostrils is breath, for of what account is he? Isaiah 2:22
It only takes one word of discouragement or condemnation, and suddenly, my internal foundation is threatened.
After publishing my first blog entry, I became very nervous.
First of all, I knew that such an openness would tear down any false impressions of a secure and stable walk with the Lord. (Now, I gladly trade in those false impressions for transparent God glorifying faith.)
Secondly, I have no formal training in either writing or theology. Although my words are more precise on paper, I doubt my ability to convey God’s truths with conviction. I also know that it is a distinct possibility that I could mislead or miss the true meaning of God’s word.
So, yes, I was extremely nervous about a reaction to my struggles and confessions of faith.
And of course, that very night, I received a long, detailed message about a different writing I had submitted months before to a slightly seasoned writer. And in this message, my writing skills were seriously challenged, criticized, and refused any affirmation.
I was shaken.
I quickly forgot that my worth is not found in myself. And I didn’t sleep. Now I was a confirmed failure who had just exposed all in blog form.
But I soon turned my heart back towards God. And instead of feeding my surmounting doubt, I let God’s word coat my heart. Finally, in God’s calming balm, I could listen to His voice.
I could hear His charge. His direct.
He prompted me to declare His power in my life.
My job is to obey in spite of inadequacy. And because I am in His will, He sufficiently provides all I need to complete His declaration of Glory.
Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is. Ephesians 5:17 ESV
My words, my thoughts, my stories – they may not carry the authority and seamless diction and perfection of a professional – but I do have the power of God.
And His power can affirm His love.
Demonstrate His grace.
And victoriously declare His glory.
Yours, LORD, is the greatness and the power and the glory and the majesty and the splendor, for everything in heaven and earth is yours. Yours, LORD, is the kingdom; you are exalted as head over all. 1 Chronicles 29:11