Leesy refuses to sit in her highchair. We held her food hostage until she sat in the chair. We bribed her with candy and bottles. But after days of battling, and a super cranky baby, we moved her to a booster seat. She was happy to sit with the big kids and we were happy that her mess was confined to something – even if it includes a sticky table.
I know a few no nonsense mothers who would shudder at the thought of giving into a stubborn child. But really, it just wasn’t a battle worth fighting.
But I do know a battle worth fighting. The battle we cannot see.
Finally, be strong in the Lord, and in the strength of His might. Put on the full armor of God, that you may be able to stand firm against the schemes of the devil. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places. Therefore, take up the full armor of God, that you may be able to resist in the evil day, and having done everything, to stand firm. Ephesians 6:10-13
Sometimes, it overwhelms me. I see the absence of absolute truth and the sin that darkens a corrupt world. I look at the battle within my own self. And I see the steep barriers that my children will face.
This world is dark. Sad. Fallen. Evil.
But, isn’t that the beauty?
God sees the worst.
I have spent many seasons in life consumed in myself – in my own failures, hurts, and problems. Caught in my own anguish, I have denyed compassion to the very people God purposely set before me. God sees my selfishness. My thoughts. My corrupt heart.
And still, He loves me.
But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved. Ephesians 2:4
Even when my heart was boldly centered on myself, God dearly loved me. And that is so much sweeter, so much fullfilling, and so much more amazing than loving me at my best.
He loves me at my worst.