It’s not really unusual to find Zaiah wearing underwear on his head. Or dismantling a calculator.
And then there was the sink incident.
Zaiah decided to wash Eli’s hair with bubbles he made in the sink. However, I didn’t catch him in the act the second time. He left the water running. The sink plugged up. And after he was sound asleep, I found a flood that went through our cabinets and walls into the laundry room, living room, and bedroom.
What a mess.
But with four children, I have come to expect lots of chaos. I have very low expectations when I make plans. I know that there WILL be a poopy diaper, spilled juice, stained carpet, a runaway dog…… or even a flood. At exactly the wrong time. But it is a new concept for me to realize that my house, my kids, my day – it can all be in chaos. But I don’t have to be in chaos.
That heart struggle began when I lived in the busyness of a husband working and earning a second degree while we parented two babies and a four year old. Even if my words didn’t reflect it, I often felt like exploding
I write as if these internal struggles are in past tense. They aren’t. I am especially tempted when I am tired or overwhelmed. Sometimes I fall flat on my face as I impatiently rush my little treasures out the door or nag my husband about moving the laundry I folded. And I begin to feel that old discontent, selfish boil race to my heart.
But I know a truth now that I did not know then.
Despite my circumstances, my heart can rest in peace. But only if my heart is fully surrendered to Christ. Because, ultimately, it’s not even about me. It’s all about Him.
“Abide in Me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself unless it abides in the vine, so neither can you unless you abide in Me.”
John 15:4 NIV