Leesy squealed in delight.
“Me!” she said.
She saw an beautiful picture of herself hanging on the wall.
I am rather offended at the implication that I am a self centered, selfish, and ME centered person. I never considered it an option in the large array of possible problems surrounding my struggles with anxiety, and for awhile, depression. I hate attention on myself, I am inadequate, and I don’t want anyone to exalt ME in any way. My conclusion, therefore, was that I am absolutely not self centered, selfish, or absorbed in ME.
Wrong.
I had the horrible privilege of receiving the observation that I am self centered.
I was offended.
But God wasn’t done with me. Those words followed me in my sleep, in my thoughts, and in my heart. Until I finally I let the Holy Spirit’s conviction tear down the barriers of my heart.
I AM too busy thinking about ME. I don’t love, serve, and bless others because I am too concerned with my own inadequacy and failures to see past myself and into the deeper, and more satisfying, desires of God.
I couldn’t see His purpose.
But armed with conviction, my heart openly welcomes God’s whispers and charges for action. I struggle to discern His voice. But the closer my heart draws to Him, the more pronounced His voice becomes. I thirst for each new direction.
And it is exciting to live within the glory of God.
And not within ME.
He must increase, but I must decrease. John 3:30 ESV
