Zaiah has 103.6 fever.
My mind immediately reverts back to a year ago – when our children couldn’t stay well. Before we completely conquered one illness, a different sickness would penetrate our household.
Six months later, the children finally recuperated.
Now, I am a hand washing, hand sanitizing Nazi.
And it has worked. Until now.
And I have lost control.
Fortunate for me, kids need structure. For awhile, that surmounted to control.
But they got bigger, and despite a structured schedule, I lose control.
This afternoon, we had a sick kid on the couch, one kid arguing about cleaning his room, and a dancing ballerina twirling around the house. Then, Leesy shattered a bowl into tiny peices.
I think it is safe to say that I lost control.
I did not have an emotional outburst (although that would certainly be a distinct possibility under the circumstances). But I did lose my sense of direction. Nothing I could say or do could restore my afternoon to its status quo.
But , why do I need to restore my day? Why can’t I enjoy a ballerina? Or patiently hold a sick child?
Maybe I need to trust God to provide in every moment. Maybe I need to cherish life as it comes. Maybe I need to stop. And breathe.
But despite my weakness, or perhaps because of my weakness, Gave gave me a treasure. My husband.
He completes me. He balances me. Where my distress creeps in, he seizes the opportunity. Where I see chaos, he sees excitement. And when my heart is about to thump out of my chest, he is a calming balm.
He is God’s perfect gift.
Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.
James 1:17 NIV